The 12 Steps of ‘misunderstanding’

          

1. I drank too much and that’s why my life is unmanageable 

2.  came to believe in a power greater than myself

3.  turned my life over to God every morning, but

     took it back every day

4.  made a list of all the bad things I had done in my life

5. told someone about all those bad things

6. made a list of defects I needed to work on

7. started working on being better

8. made a list of people I hurt

9. when God put these people in my path, I told them I was sorry and made living amends

10. told you I was sorry when I did something wrong to you

11. prayed everyday and read some devotions

12. told you how to do all this and cleaned ashtrays

*PLEASE NOTE if you are brand new or have been misled, this is meant to be sarcastic. This is NOT the correct explanation of the 12 steps.

*PLEASE SEE ARTICLE ON “UNDERSTANDING THE REAL PROBLEM OF ADDICTION/ALCOHOLISM”

EXPLANATION

1. The unmanageability talked about in the first step is an internal condition known as the spiritual malady.Alcohol/drugs did not cause this, they treated this.

“We were restless, irritable, discontented until we could experience the ease & comfort that comes at once by taking a few drinks (drugs)” Dr’s opinion.

The truth in the 1^st step is that:

 I lack Power to stop once I start because of the physical allergy described in the doctors opinion (Power of control).

I lack Power to keep myself stopped because of the mental obsession described in pages 23 – 43 (Power of choice). The unmanageability was already present before I ever took a drink or drug.

2. The 2^nd step is about laying aside prejudices (old ideas), being “willing” to believe there is a Power greater than myself, and then making a choice (p.53)  “Is God everything or nothing?”

3. The 3^rd step involves  being convinced of self will, a decision to change, a position to take in regarding a relationship with God and a prayer. It is about a commitment. I will fall short from time to time, but at no time do I “take back” my decision. The 3^rd step has no evidence unless at “once” I follow with 4^th (pen to paper).

4. The 4^th step is about finding the things that are blocking me from the Power that I lack in Step 1 by searching within myself fearlessly. It is an effort to face and be rid of these things. My troubles are of my own making. I MUST find MY mistake. It’s not “their” fault.

5. I must be completely honest with someone, holding nothing back or I am liable to drink/use again. Hopefully that someone will help point out my defects of character that were driving me and my self will that we discovered in Step 4. Follow the directions at the bottom of page 75.

6. Answer questions at top of page 76, following instructions.

7. We ASK GOD to remove our defects of character. I cannot “WORK” on them. I can become aware of them and ask God for them to be removed.

8. Finish list started in 4^th step of people that I harmed and pray for willingness to make amends to them ALL.

9. GO OUT to my fellows and FIND these people I harmed out of MY effort to run on self will and begin “cleaning up” the past by asking how I can make things right. Continuing to pray for willingness and guidance in questionable situations.

10. Step 10 is about self awareness. It’s about growing in understanding and effectiveness. Watching for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment & fear - my 4^th column in Step 4 and practicing Steps 5 – 9 on a regular basis. Gaining experience with the “vital” 6^th sense. As I grow & practice this, I will make fewer amends (current) and begin to see where I am wrong before I say or do something wrong. It is NOT my nightly (end of the day) inventory. That comes in Step 11. Step 10 is my 24 hr. a day, walking-around inventory as I live day-to-day life.

11. Reading is such a small part of Step 11. There are strict disciplines for morning, during the day and at the end of the day. Meditation combined with prayer are daily practices improving my conscious contact with God.

12.  The result of the previous 11 Steps is an awakened spirit. I take this awakened spirit out into all of my activities helping others, living the spiritual life. It’s about sharing with the next addict/alcoholic taking them through the same process, constantly being shown intuitive direction how to be of service.

The 12 steps on the wall do not even come close to describing this process. There is so much more to this process than can be written in such a short form. That is why it is essential to have a guide that has had the experience described in the first 164 pages including the doctor’s opinion.                

God Could and Would If He were Sought

God Could and Would If He were Sought

I searched all my life for that which would make me whole. I thought I found it in alcohol and drugs, but they failed me and left me so hopeless. I thought I found it in people, but they were searching for themselves and couldn’t fill me either. I thought I found it in theologies and books, but these were only maps, they were not the treasure and couldn’t fill me.

In the last analysis, I searched deep inside of me. I found the Great Reality. God is… God always was… I was the one who was lost. All I had to do was be still and stop fighting. I learned how to do this through these 12 Steps. I must continue to do this in order to stay connected and awake. God is in everything and everybody. As my awareness grows I experience the power of God and my Spirit is awakened more & more. When I can’t see the light and begin to fight, I must realize that I have fallen asleep again. I must be still  and search fearlessly within,and wake up again. Then I can be whole and useful once more. Then I’m alive and fulfilling my purpose in life.

When I help you, I help me. When I love you, I love me and I love God. We are all connected and I must remember that.

I can’t hate you and love God. I can’t hate me and love God, for when I truly love – I love ALL. Then and only then can I be whole. The greatest of all gifts is Love. Wake up and experience love, then you will find God.

                                          

To Understand the Solution, I Must Understand the Problem

A somewhat lengthy read, but worth it..... especially if you happen to be an addict or alcoholic of "The hopeless variety"...

There are some simple "Truths" in life. One of them is;

"A misunderstanding of the problem always leads to a misunderstanding of the solution".
 
For instance,
If we were all in a boat and the boat was taking on water, if we identified the problem as being "too much weight ", a perfectly logical assumption, right? Then what would be our solution ?
I would say getting rid of some of the weight.  Too much weight - Remove weight.
But what would happen if we threw a few folks overboard only to find out we identified the WRONG problem. What if we then discovered a small hole in the bottom of the boat ?
Couldn't we then treat the correct problem with the correct solution ?
With that being said, I want to share my "current" understanding of the problem of addiction /alcoholism.
For the purpose of this article,and site, I will use  the terms "alcoholism" and "addiction" interchangeably. As I have stated before,while they may each manifest differently "physically" and/or "mentally" and require individual identification, I believe the spiritual malady (untreated state,unmanageability) is the same, therefore the SOLUTION is the same. I will further explain the common problem as the "ROOT PROBLEM" of both.

When I was around 17-18 years old and beginning to get heavily involved with drinking, as well as later with drugs, people would say to me "You drink too much !" or "You do too many drugs, you are greedy !"
With THAT being the identification of my problem, I would believe the solution would be to "Drink less" or "Use less". I would fail at that experiment because "Drinking/using too much" is not my problem. Therefore drinking/using less is not the correct solution.
   In the Doctor's Opinion, Silkworth believed we have an allergy to alcohol/drugs.
 (Here is where the addict & alcoholic may differ in specific physical reaction to substance. Some react sanely & normal to drugs,but have an allergic reaction to alcohol. I have known others that claim they do not have craving with alcohol, but cannot use drugs(in solid form) without experiencing phenomenon of craving .Yet there are those of us that experience craving with both. It is each of our own responsibilities to discover through a first step experience, with the help of someone who has done this, what our own truth is. We must get a clear understanding of our own condition and remember that what is a safe use of prescribed medication for one may mean disaster for others

 An allergy is a physical reaction to a common substance. If I am allergic to something like tomatoes or fish, then every time I eat tomatoes or fish, I have a physical reaction and break out. There is no way to control my bodily reaction with my mind. It is a physical reaction that only happens to those "allergic types'. The same thing happens when I drink or use. The reason drinking/using less won't work is that my body has a physical reaction to a substance that my mind cannot control.

What is the real problem ? Lack of Power is my real problem.(page 45, Alcoholics Anonymous).
I lack the Power to stop once I start because of the physical allergy. The only relief is entire abstinence. I lack Power of CONTROL.

This brings up the real issue of powerlessness - the mental obsession. Page 23 of  the "Big Book" states that the main problem centers in the mind. I made it out of my first treatment center with a firm resolve to never use/drink again. I was convinced that drugs & alcohol were not good for me. I even had a good idea that once I started, I couldn't stop. I meant to stay stopped. In fact, I was told at some of the meetings by some well-intentioned people "Don't drink!" and "Don't use no matter what !" I was of the belief that drugs & alcohol were my problem. 4 days out of treatment I was using again. I had no idea why.

Identifying my problem as a drug and /or alcohol problem, I did not understand the real problem. Therefore I did not understand the solution. If drinking and using were my problem, then NOT drinking/using would be the correct solution. The "Mental" illness associated with addiction/alcoholism is characterized by :
ILLUSION - seeing something that's not real. I don't see pain, suffering, humiliation. (At certain times) I only see ease and comfort.
DELUSION - belief in a lie (my own lie). "It will be different this time."
OBSESSION- a thought or idea that drives out all other thoughts or ideas.

Page 24 of the "Big Book" states that "at certain times" I am unable to see the truth. I can't recall with sufficient force the pain & suffering of a week or a month ago. I am without defense. I have lost the Power of choice. At certain times, I will not be able to "play the tape through". I will NOT call my sponsor, I will not even realize I am in danger, because of the strange mental blank spot I just described. THAT is the "POWERLESSNESS" associated with the mental illness of addiction/alcoholism.
I won't be able to keep myself clean/sober on my own power.  I lack Power of CHOICE.

The Big Book also states "for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick."
The third part of addiction/alcoholism, the "Spiritual Malady" is best described in the Doctor's Opinion as "restless, irritable and discontent", and on page 52, as "trouble with personal relationships, can't control emotional natures, misery and depression, unhappy,  full of fear", and so on. It is also described from page 60 through 62 as "self-will run riot".
   The fact is, the spiritual malady has me blocked from Power. I can believe in GOD till the cows come home, but I can't get "access" to Power because I am blocked due to Resentments,Self-seeking harms, Selfish attitudes, Fear, Self pity, Self delusion ,ect...
  "When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically."
  The main problem of the Spiritual Malady is the inability to change due to over reliance on self.
  I lack the Power to CHANGE.
  One of the main characteristics of "Spiritual Malady", also known as "EGO", is the reconstruction factor.
Dr. Harry Tebout wrote about "the reconstruction of the ego." The Malady is constantly rebuilding.
"The Big Book" warns of this on page 85 when it says "Don't let up!"  We have recovered from hopelessness, but we are not cured. We must continue to grow spiritually in order to survive.

In summary,

• Physical LACK OF POWER to control the amount once I start
• Mental LACK OF POWER to choose whether I can keep myself stopped
• Spiritual LACK OF POWER to change due to self-blockage (over-reliance on self)

     THE REAL PROBLEM OF ADDICTION / ALCOHOLISM  -  LACK OF POWER
     THE REAL SOLUTION OF ADDICTION / ALCOHOLISM - CONNECTION TO POWER