What is Our Common Solution?

The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined.

The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism.”

~ Alcoholics Anonymous, “The Big Book”, page 17

Our common solution, refers to us as alcoholics and addicts, whether we used alcohol, heroin, cocaine, meth, pot or pills, etc. I believe in identification in order to connect the common problem. However, even though our illness may present itself differently mentally and/or physically, we all suffer from the same spiritual malady.

According to the Big Book, “when the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.” That is, in fact, “our common solution.” As important and perhaps vital as it is to completely identify and relate personal experiences to same substances -- as stated on page 18 in the Big Book: “That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about…” -- my own personal experience and belief is that the solution, our common solution, truly is the same.

We treat the spiritual malady and get connected to a Power greater than ourselves and the mental obsession gets removed. Consequently, if we don’t put the chemical in, no matter what its shape or form, we do not have the physical allergic reaction.

Once we have reached a level of identification and conceded to our innermost selves that we have lost power, choice and control over a particular substance(s), and that we will always go back to it if our spiritual malady is not treated, then our recovery process becomes a journey beyond self. From selfishness, self-centeredness, and living in spiritual sickness, we become useful to God and our fellows, safe and protected, living in the world of the Spirit. As long as we continue to grow in understanding and effectiveness and pass on our experience to others, we find that we are all on the same journey – the spiritual life.

That is our common solution.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

For Newcomers


FOR THE NEWCOMER
"First Meetings"

    In the beginning, it is awkward walking into a meeting, not knowing what to expect and feeling very vulnerable. It is important to remember that everyone in the room had to start with their first one, also. Hopefully you walk into a meeting where people are laughing and having fun and are friendly, making you feel welcome. If this is not the case, you may want to visit another one the next time.
    If people are presenting sobriety as boring and glum, they have missed the whole program and it would be wise to keep looking around for other meetings. You should hear some hope and how life is so much better sober. Someone should be offering you their phone numbers and talking to you about alcoholism or drug addiction depending on the fellowship. If you do get some phone numbers, don't feel like you are bothering them by calling them. They gave you their numbers because that is how the program works. We help each other by sharing our experience and how we got sober and are staying that way. 
    Ask questions. This is your life. If you can't stop on your own and you can't stay stopped, you must have needed something different or you would not have come to a meeting. If one person is not very friendly, go to another one for help. A person that has had a life changing experience will be more than willing to spend time with you. Ask people how they got better. Stick with the ones that say they had a spiritual experience as the result of the steps. The ones that tell you to just not drink and keep coming back to meetings and your life will get better  may not be an alcoholic of the hopeless variety and their information may harm you rather than help. If you do have the illness of addiction or alcoholism, meetings will not treat this. Meetings are a place to come find someone that has found a solution and is willing to share that solution with you. We can get support at meetings but they do not heal the illness. We have a physical, mental and spiritual illness that only a spiritual experience can cure.
    By all means keep coming back to see if you actually have the illness and find someone with a solution. If you want to find out whether you are an addict, alcoholic or both, ask yourself these questions and think about your answers (don't answer quickly). Think about your past experience: 
Can I stop once I start? Alcohol? Drugs? Both?
Can I control how much I take? Alcohol? Drugs? Both?
When I honestly want to, with everything on the line, can I stay stopped? Alcohol? Drugs? Both?
When I am not drinking/using do I feel restless, irritable and discontented, like I am missing something inside?
If so, do I honestly want help and am I willing to go to any length to get it?
As hopeless as it may seem, there are many of us who were just as hopeless at one time and we found hope and have been led to a happy, sober life by following the directions we were given by people just like us. It works, but we have to be willing to make the effort to get it.    
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HOW FREE DO YOU WANT TO BE ?
     After some time in recovery, carrying the message, sponsoring people, speaking every now and again, there comes a day, or moment, when I ask myself, " Am I really who I say I am? Do I present to the world my stage character of the day or moment? Or am I just real?" For those of us who have sat down and really considered this question with some thoroughness, it can be a humbling experience. 
     Writing some inventory, using the middle paragraph on page 52 as a guide, can be helpful in seeing the unmanageability that has built up in my life as the result of the reconstruction of the ego. Following up with a new look at how to get past this "current agnosticism" with a new experience with the second Step , a "current" look at how I am running my life on self will, playing God, then following up with a recommitment and taking the position described on page 62. Praying a new prayer leads me right into inventory so that I can get more freedom, finding that, yet again, blockage has built up, blinding me from the truth. After sharing this with a spiritual guide and seeing beliefs and defects that drive my self will, I can take these to God and make any amends necessary to be free again or more free, as the case may be.
   A really good case of humility and cold hard truth can be the catalyst for some real growth - growth necessary for ongoing recovery. I can't transmit something I don't have and I will transmit what I do have. If I do not continue growing, I will run out of spiritual food and begin to lead the double life . This can happen so subtly that it can barely be noticed. Having let up in later recovery, becoming complacent and methodical, I never see this coming. It is so important to keep reaching for fresh and new ground in Steps 10 and 11, while being accountable to a guide, teacher or sponsor. Equally important is continued work with others,sharing my experience so that we can stay in fresh light on the path. 
They say that if you put a frog in boiling water he will jump out, but if you put him in water and bring it to a boil slowly he will die before he realizes it. So it is with us, as we slowly become complacent and fall back asleep. Darkness creeps back in ever so slowly, we can die a slow death without ever picking up. Our disease is progressive and so patient - a subtle foe! We may not see it coming. Regular inventory and accountability along with daily meditation keeps us honest and aware. Honesty and awareness keeps us real, avoiding the double life. Staying awake is much easier when we are not so sleepy. Lack of discipline makes us spiritually sleepy. Out of bitter experience, it is much easier to stay spiritually fit than to pay the price.    

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